


Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)?

by Annwithoutane



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys In Love, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Gen, Idiots in Love, Irish Marlene Mckinnon, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Remus Lupin, Past Mary Macdonald/Remus lupin, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Self-Discovery, Sexuality Crisis, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sort Of, Tags May Change, Welsh Remus Lupin, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Young Remus Lupin, but like also not, discovering sexuality, idk what this fic is, irish character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annwithoutane/pseuds/Annwithoutane
Summary: "I wonder what it's like. To be with a bloke, I mean," He whispered, not quite looking at Remus."Dunno," Remus shrugged in reply, staring directly at Sirius who was avoiding Remus' eyes. He looked helpless at that moment, distant even and Remus thought that, maybe for a second, Sirius felt how Remus did about this whole thing. "I'm no expert but I suppose it wouldn't be much different,"
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from a Buzzcock song with the same name  
> -  
> -  
> I don't know how often I will update this story as it was just a quick idea that I had between writing my other fic and applying for a job but I have a few chapters all ready written that just need to be edited so it shouldn't be too long.

It was a Friday and like every Friday since they had begun Seventh Year, Remus and Sirius would trek to the top of the Astronomy Tower in the hope of getting some of their classwork done.

They rarely succeeded. The evenings usually ended in Sirius and Remus talking late into the night.

It was a Friday and this Friday was no exception.

The pair had climbed up the Tower yet again and Remus knew as soon as Sirius had pulled a bottle of Fire Whiskey out of his satchel that there would be no way they'd get anything done.

Midnight found the pair sprawled across the cold stone floor with their backs propped up against the wall. They were sharing the bottle of alcohol between them and at some point Remus had pulled out his packet of cigarettes. If he was being honest, he felt sedated and content, he always did when he was with Sirius. 

"You know, Moons, I've been thinking -" Sirius grinned lopsidedly as he handed Remus back the bottle. 

"Dangerous that," He interrupted with a grin that earned himself a playful punch on the arm from Sirius. 

"Twat," Sirius laughed heartily. Remus wasn't sure when he had started to pay attention to Sirius' laugh but he knew that he wanted to be the cause of it. "I've been thinking -" He threw a warning glance at Remus then causing him to laugh. "I believe we need to get you a bird or, at the very least, some action," 

Remus blanched, something in his stomach didn't sit right with that last remark. He wasn't sure he'd ever really had an interest in ' _birds_ ' at least not like Sirius had. Remus wasn't interested in having one offs constantly like Sirius apparently did (Remus wasn't sure that everything Sirius told them about his one night stands were true). 

"Y'know, Pads," Remus said, after a while, forcing a smile on his face whilst ignoring the ever-growing pit in his stomach. "I've been thinkin' and I think you're a bloody sex addict," 

"Don't take the piss, Moony," Sirius gaped, mouth wide open and a hand on his chest but Remus could see that his eyes were sparkling with mirth. "Me? A sex addict? Yeah, right," He scoffed. Maybe Remus had been right in thinking that Sirius hadn't actually done everything he had said. 

"You sure about that?" 

"Course," Sirius said casually but Remus could hear the slightly defensive tone in his voice. He watched as Sirius slumped forward slightly. "Don't enjoy it half the time anyway," He shrugged, tensing up slightly as if he hadn't meant to have let that slip. Remus reached out and grabbed Sirius' hand tight. 

"I get you," He said earning a smile from Sirius. "I'm not as experienced as you are on that front but the times I have done _it_ weren't that great," Sirius stared at him then, eyes wide. He'd never told Sirius, or any of the Marauders in fact, that he'd gotten his end away as James so politely put it.

It had happened last year with Mary. She had been sweet about it afterwards. She had turned to him and told him that though he was a nice bloke and anybody who dated him should be honoured she didn't fancy him like that and decided they were better off as the close friends they were. Remus had to agree with her and he'd been relieved to do so. "It was alright, just didn't live up to expectations," Sirius nodded slightly in agreement. 

"We just haven't found the right girls for us, I s'pose," Sirius shrugged. Maybe that was true for Sirius, maybe he hadn't found the right girl for him but Remus was starting to wonder if girls had ever really been an option for him in the first place. He quickly shoved that last thought to the deep depths of his mind. He'd deal with that later. Or preferably never. 

"Sure you're not into lads instead?" Sirius joked after a while, bumping his shoulder against Remus', a wicked grin on his face. Could Sirius really read him that easily? 

"I'm not a queer, Sirius!" He spluttered, _a little too defensively,_ the awful part of his brain supplied. 

Sirius still had that stupid grin on his face. "Wouldn't matter to me if you were," He shrugged. 

Remus frowned, there wasn't anything to say to that. He wondered whether it would actually matter to Sirius if he was. It was all well and good him sating that it wouldn't matter but would it be different if he actually was. Remus sighed and ran a hand over his face. It wasn't worth thinking about. 

"Moons, you alright?" 

"Yeah just thinking, that's all," He paused for a moment. "I've never really thought about being with a boy, y'know," 

_Shit. Why did I say that?_

He wasn't lying though. Remus hadn't necessarily allowed himself to think about being with a boy in that way. 

"Okay...?" Sirius said looking at him strangely "I don't blame you, have you seen half of the boys in our year? Most of them are fucking ugly," Remus couldn't help it. He threw his head back and roared with laughter and once he'd recovered, he found Sirius looking at him strangely. 

"Hmm, I don't agree with you there, Pads," Remus said with a grin, taking another sip of Fire Whiskey . He really needed to stop drinking, he was going to say something he was going to really regret if he didn't. (If he hadn't already) 

"Have you - are you saying you've thought about this?" Sirius gaped and Remus could feel himself turning red and he began rubbing the back of his neck rather awkwardly. 

"No..." He started, trailing off before he even really began his sentence. It was complicated, he hadn't necessarily thought about it, it was all off handed comments that his brain helpfully supplied whenever he looked at someone like Shacklebolt or even Sirius. "Course I haven't thought about it, I'm not a poof," He protested. 

_Rather too quickly._

"You do have to admit though that you and James are sort of lush,"

 _Fucks sake_.

"I, uh, mean quite attractive, I s'pose. And then there's Shacklebolt," 

Sirius was staring inquisitively at him and Remus was sure he looked as mortified as he felt. Thankfully, he didn't say anything instead he nodded and took back the bottle of Fire Whiskey. Remus watched as he did so rather entranced by how graceful his movements where even when he was slightly tipsy. 

There was something different about Sirius, and he couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was that Sirius was in a happier place now, that he'd finally allowed himself to be truly happy. Or maybe it was the fact that the pair had become even closer than before. Or maybe it was how Sirius had come into his ow: he was maturer now and didn't seem to take things for granted anymore, he was still his loud and brash self but there was a gentle kindness underneath it all, a kindness that everyone saw as soon as you got to know him. Maybe it was that he was no longer the aristocratic posh boy who expected everything to be handed to him on a silver platter, maybe it was that he now understood what it meant to work hard and be loyal and to fight for what he believed in.

Whatever it was, whatever had changed, all Remus knew was that he was proud of his best mate and he thought that he might always be. 

"Y'know, I think you left someone off of that list of yours," Sirius said, uncharacteristically quiet. 

"Did I?" 

"Yeah," Sirius began and Remus watched his cheeks flush ever so slightly. "You," 

Remus' breath caught then. He hadn't ever thought of himself to be attractive and even when Mary and Lily had mentioned it off handedly, he'd never believed them but now, here, with Sirius telling him that he was attractive, well, it did things. 

"Piss off, I'm not-" 

"Yeah, you are," Sirius stated as if it were a well known fact, interrupting Remus' protest. "Loads of girls fancy you. Especially that one from Hufflepuff, what's her name?" Sirius hummed in thought then. "Oh, I dunno. The one with the big tits?" 

Remus grimaced at the question. "Sirius," He scolded. 

"Sorry, Moony," Sirius said but Remus didn't think he looked all that apologetic. "Anyway, you're reasonably good looking. You've got that rugged look going on. Actually, come to think about it, you look like that one Mary likes; the one out of _Rebel Without A Cause,_ " 

"James Dean?"

"That's the one," Sirius grinned. Remus laughed at that, there was no way in hell that he looked even remotely like James Dean. "You look like him, well, sort of and if girls were all over him, then they're probably all over you too," 

Remus just huffed and nodded before taking the bottle back and taking a good slug. 

For the next couple of minutes, they sat in comfortable silence, passing the bottle back and forth until, at last, Sirius spoke in possibly the quietest and most unsure voice Remus had ever heard him use. "I wonder what it's like. To be with a bloke, I mean," He whispered, not quite looking at Remus. 

"Dunno," Remus shrugged in reply, staring directly at Sirius who was avoiding Remus' eyes. He looked helpless at that moment, distant even and Remus thought that, maybe for a second, Sirius felt how Remus did about this whole thing. "I'm no expert but I suppose it wouldn't be much different," 

"I s'pose not," Sirius sighed, averting his eyes to his lap. Remus wished he could read Sirius' mind and assure him everything was okay. "You got another fag?" 

Silently, Remus shifted himself forward ever so slightly so he could reach into the back pocket of his jeans and moments later, he pulled out his open packet of cigarettes. 

"Only got one left. We'll have to share it," Remus said as he placed the cigarette between his teeth and with a snap of his fingers he lit it: wordlessly and without a wand. 

Slowly, he took a drag, letting the sharp sting of smoke fill his lungs for a brief moment before handing Sirius the cigarette. 

He couldn't help but look at Sirius. The way his elegant fingers held the cigarette, the way his lips curved in a slight smirk around it too. How utterly at peace he looked, sitting here in the dark, the only light coming from the cigarette and the little slither of the moon that could be seen from behind the clouds. 

It was then Remus realised, that Sirius was staring just as intently back at him. His eyes filled with an emotion that Remus couldn't quite place. 

"You alright, Moons?" Sirius asked, taking another drag. 

"Have you ever kissed a bloke or... _y'know_ , thought about one in that way?" He blurted out, eyes going wide when he realised what he'd just said. 

_Shit_. 

"Don't think so," Sirius shrugged. "You?" 

"I dunno," Remus huffed and suddenly without registering it, Remus was inches away from Sirius ' face. This was dangerous. One wrong move and everything could be ruined. 

"What are you...?" Sirius breathed out, and the way his voice was raspy and barely there did something to Remus' insides. He watched as Sirius stubbed out the cigarette on the floor and... 

_Did he look eager?_

"I don't know, Pads, I don't know," Remus replied shakily. He was being honest, he had no idea what he was doing. He probably shouldn't have been doing it. And then, in a weird burst of courage, he gingerly moved his hand and placed it on top of Sirius'. 

"We - uh - I - I think we should, um, head back..." 

"Yeah, we should," Remus whispered back but he found himself leaning closer so close in fact that he was practically mumbling the words against Sirius' lips. 

It was Sirius who moved the last inch and then their lips were brushing and Remus had never felt more right. 

It was a timid kiss at first and rather awkward but once he had gotten over the initial shock, Remus leant further forwards so he was pressing Sirius up against the wall. 

Remus supposed it was hesitant and slow because neither really knew what they were doing but Remus could say, with certainty, that he was more confident kissing a boy, kissing Sirius then he ever had been when he had a kissed a girl. He didn't remember enjoying it this much when he'd kissed Mary that one time. That was a thought he wasn't prepared to dwell on any time soon. 

Sirius had caught Remus' bottom lip between his own and Remus found himself, following Sirius' lead. It seemed to be a battle for dominance in a way, it wasn't anything fierce, it was slow and languid and it seemed to Remus that by doing this, they were learning how to trust each other even more. 

At some point, the kiss had deepened and begun to be more feverish. Remus couldn't tell you how long they'd been doing this but he couldn't seem to find it in him to care, especially when Sirius' hands had begun to snake up Remus' shoulders and down his back as if he wanted to explore every little bit of him. Remus wasn't sure he could focus on anything other than this; this feeling: kissing Sirius and being kissed by Sirius. 

Emboldened, Remus bit down slightly on Sirius' bottom lip and when the other boy let out the most sinful gasp Remus had ever heard, he slipped his tongue in causing the kiss to become wet and explorative and so... _right_. 

Then everything stopped. 

Sirius had pushed Remus away, sending him sprawling across the floor. He had now stood up all the while cursing under his breath and was hurriedly rushing around the room, gathering his things and stuffing them in his battered satchel. Remus didn't think he'd ever seen him move so fast or look so scared. 

_Fuck._

"Pads, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice sounding raspy and weird. 

"What's wrong?" Sirius echoed and Remus couldn't help but think he looked utterly debauched with his lips swollen and his hair tousled. "Are you fucking stupid, Moons? I just...we just...we shouldn't have done that! You're you and I'm me and well, we're both boys and...neither of us are fucking poofs, _are we_?" Sirius fretted, his eyes wide and looking as if he wanted to vanish off the face of the earth. 

"Look, we were just having a laugh," Remus supplied meekly in an attempt to calm Sirius down but Remus knew full well that what had just happened hadn't been a laugh. Far from it, in fact. It had been real and intimate and well, hot. However, when Remus caught Sirius tugging down the bottom of his white t-shirt, he knew for definite that what happened wasn't a laugh, it was serious. 

"I've uh - I've got to go," Sirius said sheepishly, avoiding Remus' eyes before legging it out of the tower room and down the stone stairs. 

And with that, Sirius was gone, leaving Remus alone with nothing but an empty bottle of Fire Whiskey and the echoing sound of Sirius' pounding footsteps as he descended down the staircase. 

Leaning his head back against the wall, Remus tried to get a grip and process what had just occurred between the two of them. 

He had kissed Sirius and Sirius had kissed him back. Simple as. 

Except it wasn't that simple, was it? 

That kiss had felt really, really good if the tent in Remus' jeans was anything to go by. 

"I'm well and truly fucked aren't I?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's up with you?" She asked as she began to load her plate with food: two muffins both lathered in butter, an egg and several pieces of bacon. Lily just tutted at her. 
> 
> "Nothing," Remus shrugged. He thought that was the safest bet rather than saying I snogged my best mate and now he won't talk to me in fear of being a poof. 

Remus didn't sleep well that night, he couldn't quite understand why he'd done it or where the courage to do it came from. All he knew was that he had royally fucked up and Sirius probably wouldn't speak to him again. 

_Shit._

Reluctantly, he got up and out of bed and glanced at the small clock on the wall of their dorm. Seven thirty am. Remus was never up this early on a Saturday. He got changed quietly as so not to wake the others. That was easier said than done as he almost fell over whilst pulling on his jeans. He did up his button up shirt, pulled on a cable knit sweater and tugged on his trainers before heading into the bathroom to wash his face. 

He swung the door open just to be greeted with a worried yelp and there was Sirius dressed in his usual attire of a band t-shirt, jeans and combats. 

_Fuck._

The pair awkwardly made eye contact for a split second until Sirius decided to avert his eyes elsewhere. Remus just remained staring straight at Sirius. 

"Alright, Remus?" He asked gently, still not looking in his direction. 

"Yeah, thanks. You?" 

"Yeah, I'm alright. Heads bloody pounding though," He replied with a shrug 

"All that fire whiskey," Remus said with a chuckle, trying to make light of the situation but he knew it wasn't working. 

"No, didn't get much sleep," Sirius said bitterly with a shake of his head. Remus' stomach lurched, he had known deep down that he'd fucked up but he had somehow managed to lull himself into a false sense of security. He had convinced himself that everything would be alright between them because they'd always been able to get through whatever was thrown at them or get passed whatever stupid thing they'd done. Remus now knew for definite that he was wrong to think that. 

"Are you sure you're alright, mate?" Remus asked him gently as Sirius brushed his hair. He sighed and knew that he needed to apologise. "Look, about last night-" 

"What about it?" Sirius snapped and Remus took a step back. Sirius had always had a temper but he'd never snapped like that before. He'd never sounded cold and distant. 

_Well done, you've pushed him away._

"I'm so sorry, Pads. I was tipsy and, as you said, horny and you were just there and I-" 

"Can we just forget it ever happened?" Sirius huffed, looking impatient as ever. 

Remus opened his mouth to say something but closed it immediately when he saw Sirius' distraught face and tired eyes. He knew then that he had to keep his mouth shut and try to forget about it for his best mate's sake. 

"Uh, yeah, sure," Remus nodded watching as Sirius slipped passed him and left the bathroom. 

"Thanks," Sirius nodded curtly. "Um... I'm just going to go for a walk; clear my head a bit and that so if I'm not a breakfast don't worry," He shrugged and before Remus had even registered what he'd said, he had grabbed his leather jacket off the coat rack and left the dorm. 

"Fucking hell," Remus huffed as all the tension left his body and was slowly being replaced with anger and frustration. He slammed the bathroom door shut causing it to bang loudly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" 

"Oi, dickhead!" Somebody groaned from the other side of the bathroom door. James. "If you're going to throw a bloody hissy fit, go do it somewhere bloody else. I would've thought that you of all people would appreciate that people need their sleep, so please, show a little bit of fucking respect!" 

"Oh, fuck off, James!" Remus spat back before picking up his toothbrush desperately trying to avoid the mirror in case he found a stranger staring back at him instead of his own reflection. 

*****

Remus was sat across from James, Peter and Lily as they ate breakfast. Or to be more precise, as the other's are their breakfasts, Remus was deep in thought and was staring daggers at his crumpets as if they'd committed some heinous crime against him. 

Mary came bursting into the hall just then and made her way over to the four of them, sidling in next to Remus. "What's up with you?" She asked as she began to load her plate with food: two muffins both lathered in butter, an egg and several pieces of bacon. Lily just tutted at her. 

"Nothing," Remus shrugged. He thought that was the safest bet rather than saying _I snogged my best mate and now he won't talk to me in fear of being a poof._

"Lies and slander, Lupin. Lies. And. Fucking. Slander," James interjected punctuating each word with a stab of his knife in Remus' direction. "I know when you're lying, Moony. Something's got your panties in a twist. What's up?" 

"Nothing's wrong. Can't you just leave me a-bloody-lone?"

"We're just worried about you, Remus, that's all," Lily said softly as she reached over to pat his hand. He and Lily had always been close and even closer still when Lily had finally agreed to go out with James the summer before seventh year. 

"Prongs, do you reckon that it's Moony's time of the month?" Peter piped in earning a glare from Remus and a roar of laughter from James. The remark had even earned a giggle from Mary. 

"Wormtail, I reckon you need to shut your fucking mouth," 

"Oi, don't pick on Pete just because something's pissing you off," James scolded before biting into his bacon. "Anyway, where's Padfoot?" 

"Why would I know?" Remus snapped, earning himself a rather withering glare from James which was usually reserved for Sirius. 

"Oh, I don't know," He shrugged. "It's just funny how you had a hissy fit after he left the dorm this morning," 

"Potter, leave it," Mary warned. Remus had always thought she had a knack for reading people so she obviously knew that this was a sore point. 

"It's none of your business," Remus snapped.

"Usually no it's not, but it is my business when two of my closest friends have fallen out with each other," James replied. 

"We haven't fallen out!" 

"Yeah, right," Peter scoffed. "And does a bear shit in the woods?"

Luckily, and Remus thought he could kiss her, Marlene ran over to the table and pushed in so she was sat between him and Mary. 

"Howsagoin', lads? Lils? Mary?" She grinned as she sat down. A chorus of good morning's flooded back to her. Remus scowled, curse Marlene and her fucking good mood. "You alright, mate?" She asked, elbowing Remus gently. 

"Fucking dandy, Mckinnon, thanks for asking," He snapped. He really wasn't in the mood for this. 

"Love you too, Lupin," She grinned before ruffling his hair, to which he responded by aggressively swatting at her hand. "Can't stay for long, I've got leg it over to the dorms in a minute to give Dorcas her breakfast, she's got a bad dose of it you see," She smiled gently as she wrapped up two bacon sandwiches in napkins and consequently put them on the table. "Oh, that reminds me, one of you might want to go and check on Sirius -" 

"Oh, you've seen him?" James asked, cutting her off as Lily asked, "Is he alright?" 

"Bumped into him as I was coming down for breakfast. He was coming back up. He seems... okay, I s'pose," She shrugged before pausing. "Why?" 

"Reckon Remus and him have had a falling out," Peter explained. 

"Really?" She asked, one eyebrow raised. "He didn't mention anything when I spoke to him," 

"I'd never thought I'd say this," James sighed. "But if, for some reason unknown to man, Pads is mature enough to let it go then you can too," James said pointedly, peering over the top of his glasses to squint at Remus. 

"Fine, I'll play happy families if it makes you fucking happy, Potter," Remus snarled as he got up. Discreetly, he pocketed one of the sandwiches Marlene had folded up into a napkin (Marlene could always make another) and stormed out of the great hall. 

"I swear Padfoot's rubbing off on him," He heard James huff, loudly. "Bloody drama queen," Then James yelped, Remus presumed that either Mary or Lily had smacked him one. 

He trudged up the stairs rather wishing James had just left him to sulk instead of asking what was up. He was grateful James cared but Remus felt as if he needed to wallow for a bit. 

"You look like shit," A voice said from above and immediately Remus whipped his head up to find Sirius leant against the bannister. Remus thought that was a rather dangerous game to play because of how frequently the staircases moved. 

"Yeah, well, you don't look much better," Remus huffed feeling rather annoyed. 

"No, I suppose I don't," Sirius huffed. "Hey, you look like you need a fag, come on," He smiled gently before moving past Remus, grabbing his sleeve as he did so and tugging him back down the stairs. 

*****

Sirius had led them behind the Greenhouses, their usual smoking haunt, and now, Remus was leant against the glass, cigarette in his mouth. Sirius had sat as far away from him as possible. He hadn't said anything to him since they'd bumped into each other on the staircase and where the comfortable silence used to be, there was nothing but guilt and awkwardness. 

_I've really fucked up._

"Oh," Remus said, digging into his cardigan pocket before retrieving the napkin wrapped sandwich and handing it to Sirius. "I figured that you hadn't eaten anything so..." 

Hesitantly, Sirius reached out and took it, a small smile on his face. Remus supposed that it could be seen as a peace offering. 

"Cheers," He said as he peeled away the napkin. "I - uh -" He began just as Remus said, "What we -" 

"Oh, you go first," Sirius smiled before biting in to the sandwich. Remus had never known him to be this polite, except when he was talking to the Potters or even to Remus' mother and father. 

"What we did-" Remus began again. "I mean, what _I_ did. I kissed you,"

At that, Remus could see that Sirius had tensed up and what came out of Sirius' mouth didn't match up to how he was acting. "Didn't know you had it in you, Moons," He grinned but to Remus it felt too forced, too fake. 

Remus decides to ignore the comment and opted to carry on. "I take full responsibility for what I did and I'm sorry, I just -" 

"Moony," Sirius cut in, a look of concern on his face and that was when Remus realised he had started to shake rather visibly. 

"I just want you to know that what we did - what I did - wasn't shameful," Remus huffed, feeling rather relieved that he'd said it. 

"I never said it was," Sirius shot back as he angrily stubbed out his cigarette on the ground. "What gave you that impression?"

 _You're reaction_ , Remus thought but he didn't say it, he opted for shrugging instead. 

"Was that it?" Sirius huffed. "Can I go now?" Remus nodded and Sirius cleared his throat to speak. "I just want to make it clear that what happened didn't mean anything, did it? Neither of us are gay," 

Remus sighed. He wasn't really sure how to answer that. He could say that he wasn't gay but then would he be lying? 

_For fucks sake._

"I never said we were," Remus grunted. He supposed that was a good enough answer. 

"Good," Sirius nodded, curtly. "Glad that's cleared up," And with that, they ended up sitting in silence with nothing but the odd rustle of leaves filtering through the quiet. 

"Pads?" Remus asked, his voice sounding croaky and ridiculously quiet. Sirius looked up, eyes wide with what Remus thought looked like concern. "We will be okay, yeah? D'you - can you forgive me?" 

"Yeah, course I forgive you," Sirius smiled but Remus noticed that it didn't reach his eyes. "And we're always going to be okay,"

 _Maybe_ , Remus thought. _Maybe they'd be alright after all._

It was then that Remus noticed someone else had joined then and there was James, a wicked grin spread across his face and it only grew wider when he saw Remus and Sirius with slight smiles on their faces. 

"Thought you two would be down here. Smoking's a filthy habit," James grimaced before breaking out into a grin again. "Anyway, I'm glad to see that you two have kissed and made up," 

Remus saw Sirius' face fall and then very quickly fix itself and that's when Remus realised he felt as if he'd been kicked in the stomach. Of course, he knew that James hadn't known any better but it didn't mean that his remark hadn't hit a little bit too close to home. However, he also knew that if he didn't play along James would figure out that they hadn't necessarily made up. 

"Well, we did more than kiss, Prongsie, m'boy," Sirius joked awkwardly beating Remus to it. 

"I thought you should know, James, that Padfoot here is a mighty good shag," Remus chimed, standing up. He threw his cigarette onto the floor and stamped on it, grinding his heal into the dirt. "I'm sorry to break it to you, Prongs, but he's better than you," 

"How dare you!" James laughed in mock exasperation. "Oh! Look, we best get back to the common room. Pete's going to ask Desdemona out?" 

" _Desdemona Shawbury_? The seventh year?" Sirius gaped, a wicked grin on his face. 

"That's the one," "

"Shitting hell," Sirius swore. "I didn't think he'd do it," 

"Neither did I, to be fair," James shrugged. "I'm going to go on ahead to put out the fire as soon as it starts," He smiled sheepishly before walking off leaving the other two to follow him. 

"Fucking hell," Sirius sighed, slumping further down against the glass. "Bloody Prongs, always knows when to say the wrong bloody thing, the bastard," 

Remus swallowed, a guilty feeling settling in his stomach and he looked down at Sirius to find him looking disheartened and absolutely shattered. 

"I'm sorry," Remus said meekly and he hoped that Sirius knew he truly meant it. He shouldn't have done it. He shouldn't of kissed Sirius. It left Remus not knowing where they stood with each other and not knowing where he stood with himself either. 

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Moons," Remus didn't quite believe him. "Come on, let's go save Wormtail from embarrassment," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, I'm sort of struggling with where this story is going. So if any of you want I'd be very happy to have a helper/beta.  
> Also if you've come from Love Will Tear Us Apart that will be updated soon but I can't say when exactly. Hopefully before the end of the month.   
> Thanks for reading xxx


End file.
